Jennifer Greenleaf married a guy named Spud and even though she suspected no good could come from marrying a guy named Spud, even if it was a nickname, she threw all caution aside and not only married Spud, but bore him a son they nicknamed Spiffy.
Jennifer and Spud were married for five years when they noticed Spiffy did not speak and since he was to begin kindergarten that fall, Jennifer brought him to a specialist who then sent them to a speech therapist both agreeing there was nothing wrong with the boy but still Spiffy did not utter a word to his parents.
Jennifer and Spud grew more concerned with each passing day as Spiffy carried on in silence, though seemingly happy enough, while his mother anguished: How would he maneuver his way through what could be a harrowing experience as school is for some boys, especially those with impediments and in this case, an inability to speak up for himself?
Jennifer brought Spiffy to school that first day and with a worried heart, told his teacher, Mrs. Cunningham that her son wouldn't be saying much and to please protect him and try to draw him out as he was quite intelligent in many ways.
When class began, Mrs. C., as she liked to be called, having watched a lot of "Happy Days" in her youth, called out each of her student's names and they in turn said "here" including Thomas Michaelson, a.k.a., Spiffy who also answered "here" with a charming smile.
For the rest of the day Spiffy answered when spoken to and played nicely with the other children in the school yard and when Jennifer came to get Spiffy, nervous about his first day, as all mothers are, she was informed by Mrs. C. that her son had no problem at all and spoke beautifully.
Jennifer was wild with joy upon hearing this but later in a state of agitation as Spiffy was put to bed still mute. Spud just shook his head and said it wasn't his fault; everyone in his family spoke volumes.
This went on for several days until Mrs. C., being bombarded by an anxious Jennifer, had a heart-to-heart with her student Thomas Michaelson. "Why do you not speak at home, Thomas?" she asked. "What kind of game are you playing with your parents?"
"They keep talking to someone named Spiffy and I can't figure out who that is, my name is Thomas so I figure they have nothing much to say to me but I wish this Spiffy would either disappear or show his face. What kind of guy is named Spiffy anyway?"
Mrs. C. relayed this to Jennifer that afternoon and from then on Spiffy was no more; Thomas was restored although Spud forgot himself at times and called him Spiffy. He couldn't figure out why anyone would object to Spiffy. It was almost as good a nickname as Spud.
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