Here I am at Day Three of the writing camp, Put Some Funny in Your Writing, where we are to learn the techniques of humor-writing, the ability to make laughter. I came to this workshop because I want to write biting, scathing, loathing political Satire, or so I thought.
We, the ten of us in the workshop, minus the one who only comes at the end, out of breath and frenzied, are about to begin an exercise using Sarcasm to make a point and to realize just how subversive humor is, or can be. If I ever get off, so to speak, in this workshop, in a strange city, coming here in frightful fear, and trying to be funny which I have not, I freely admit, been so far, I will consider it all worth it. I keep scribbling, hoping for something riotous to dash out of me. It’s still dodging me but who’s keeping score?
It has been said that we are in dire need of humor just now. Whenever someone says that it means the world is in a pile of hurt and the only remedy is to laugh at things. If that’s the case, I sense job opportunity. But then I forget, jobs are over. Some say humor is life-saving, some say life-giving. Some say it’s just a good time. Some have no sense of humor and never give it a thought but are a big drag on others.
There will always be a need for the really, truly Sarcastic barb. It can be in the form of either Exaggeration or Understatement studied in Day Two of this workshop in which I wrote about my husband, Mr. X and his use of Exaggeration. But Sarcasm implies a deeper meanness. For some, mean has meaning, but I’m getting ridiculous, albeit, still not funny.
Our assignment for today was to read the morning paper or the morning screen or have it filtered right into our brain via an invisible microscopic tube that only a select number of really-in-the-know geeks own at this time, then run it through the humor mill and come out with funny insights. This is called political Satire, which was my proclivity until I got into this workshop, have fallen into trouble and find it nearly impossible to unearth my funny bone which I’m certain I recently had and used regularly. I’m not remotely amusing and did think of dropping out for lack of funniness but then thought the biting, scathing, loathing Sarcasm I’d come in search of was to be the antidote to my troubles. Instead I find I’d like to think of something more ephemeral, subtle and leave the biting to those with stronger teeth at this time.
I’ve decided to keep it light because if I get started I’m afraid I will not be able to stop the biting, scathing, loathing that I feel. I once had a room go silent, so awful were my few sentences of Sarcasm. It was in a workshop on writing for the arts and entertainment world. I may have overdone it with my six-sentence story of an American guy who went to Iraq to make friends, hook everyone up to cable and got beheaded in the process. It had been in the news that day and I felt inspired by the sheer loathing antagonism this story brought out of me and I took pleasure reading it to the class, wanting them to feel my angst toward the perpetrators of this heinous deed. I was truly Sarcastic bordering on evil. The others in the workshop cringed and turned away from me. The teacher immediately rebuked me for bringing politics into his little workshop at a hip hotel, mostly for young women hoping to break into Hollywood media. I was the oldest one there, older than the teacher and L.A. gives me a terrible attitude and there I was. My grim little story really got to the teacher and he wouldn’t give me so much as a scrap of recognition henceforth. I knew I’d overplayed my hand and thereafter wrote charming movie reviews: I really outdid myself but it was no use. I reviewed a children’s book and did a feature on celebrity yoga, I wrote a feature on a comedian…trying desperately to edge back gracefully into the effervescent world of the entertainment industry. I was consistently hated. I could not get back to approval or even begrudging respect. I was done in that class. Over sensitive, I thought. Frivolous, I perhaps vaguely hinted at.
But in this workshop political humor is what’s called for. I won’t try to shock anyone this time. But then again, I am actually here to learn biting, scathing, loathing Sarcasm. I just hope I can be side-splitting before this class is finished. Sarcasm is second nature.
As instructed, I read the paper this morning. I generally do anyway. I am weary of the Democrats; I knew they would be tedious despite a charismatic leader. I don’t want to make fun of him as he is our chief and I respect that…but…nothing funny here.
Here’s another story in the news: It is said today that the Israelis and Palestinians might maybe could be thinking about starting new peace negotiations. Both sides say, "yeah, maybe…I’ll get back with you" which is enough for the State Department to issue a bold warning: PEACE THREATENING TO BREAK OUT IN MIDDLE EAST! What could be more resounding? Again, with the peace. The leaders of both states, if you will, feign indifference but know they have to try to make Hillary look good, Obama look good, but not too good. Look what happened when they tried to help Clinton look good: Instant Intifada.
Both leaders say there is nothing new in the alleged treaty they pretend to look over, no details, "nothing is new but we’ll talk." You can be sure there will be bloodshed within…say one week.
I know I am not in the least funny in my scathing, biting observations. I haven’t had much funny lately; I’ve been troubled and I’ve spoken of this before not to bore anyone because I am bored by the very idea of boredom and unhappiness, who said anything about unhappiness anyway? Even the feuding factions have given up worrying about unhappiness and its consequence and now look to find the craziness in the state of affairs because that is what it is and if you can recognize it, dig it up and by your sheer audacious alchemical creativity, turn the supremely unfunny into a frenzy of crazy juice, your fucking, dragging, horrifying, little killing field of a region can be turned on itself by making, not treaties but biting, scathing, loathing jokes about the horror and the stupidity! You will be ridiculed into action or to death. Maybe humor will be the new job opportunity after all.
Okay, that was fun. Or was it funny? Not even. But I got it out of my system. I just hope when I reread it there is some use of Sarcasm because that was the exercise, the meaning of my early morning foray into a writing workshop when I really can’t concentrate and am not in the least funny, have been sleeping on a couch and find the hot, humid weather distracting but stick with me, this is only Day Three, two more to go, as luck would have it. I’m bound to get going, I paid a lot of money to be funny; I have to laugh our troubles away; I have to laugh my troubles away. That’s a lot of troubles. A lot of laughter. And you can’t tell funny, you’ve got to show it. That’s a lot of trouble too.
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