Now that I am alone again I can muse on the state of my state; in other words, all me, all the time. I begin to wonder why I am so astonishingly important to be given so much due diligence, such scrutiny, such babyish care of myself who when analyzed properly, is not all that much.
Nevertheless, I have begun to wear the crown again. I will no longer tolerate certain people or behaviors even though we are told in this new age not to be judgmental. I'm a stickler for protocol and do not give in lightly. Although the crown is heavy and gives me a headache, its sparkle delights me and I carry it proudly.
To wear the crown you must be the following: a) brave, b) enduring, c) standing for certain values, d) decisive and e) worth fighting for. One must earn the crown one wears or chooses to wear. Sometimes this is hard to pull off as I am naturally slack, weak, morally culpable. I like to lie in bed forgetting about everyone but myself, taking all comfort. Queens are naturally this way so it takes fortitude and righteousness to conquer One's sloth. Victoria, being a drama queen, just told everyone to get off her back and give her some respite. She never minded using tears to get her way. Elizabeth the Stoic keeps a wise counsel and a stiff neck.
As the queen you are quickly admonished if you take the wrong approach. "You will jeopardize the throne.. you must do your public relations…much is expected...the people will not stand for..." Those pesky courtiers are never far from the throne.
And here is where the earning of the crown comes into play: You will be enshrined in luxury but you can never feel comfortable again. It is here that I hesitate. Although I have gotten used to little in the way of luxury, my comfort is very important to me. I can never play my role to the satisfaction of my minions. I am quickly banished to my chamber and the crown is put away. We go through this every month.
Now that I am alone again, I muse on my state...maybe tomorrow when my headache subsides, I'll try on the crown again.
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