Everywhere in the world today couples are splitting up. They're likely to be angry, hurt, disappointed, guilty, relieved, overwhelmed... mentally shaken, according to an article I read in the newspaper.
You are lost and yet have to do more than is in your power to stand firm somehow. Your jaw tightens, maybe you rock on your heels while discussing matters, maybe you feel humiliated and can't make eye contact. Maybe you have already displayed your wrath and are now in some trouble. Maybe you just held it all in like a character in a 19th-century novel or a cowboy movie. Maybe you seek revenge.
Maybe you've been in a war and now you are "useless," which you already know, and still you are to be left alone in your incapacity. Maybe you are the one guilty of leaving someone wounded.
Maybe one of you is secretly relieved and plans on celebrating with a few friends even though you are now possibly homeless. Maybe the other is just as relieved and plans to start redecorating that night. Maybe you are both out on a limb where once you perched as lovebirds.
How can I know how you feel? I myself feel so empty. Certainly no celebrating; conversely, no recriminations toward anyone. A quiet distillation finally. I think I can breathe after all. I expect to laugh at something before the year is over.
I hope that you are navigating to a place of acceptance if you are separating. I wish you good luck. Don't deny your tears, but limit them. This drama is ancient and yet so very freshly felt.
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